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Sunday, November 28, 2010

My Commentaries on the Novels I have read

I am one of the most avid readers of literature you will come across. I started reading at the age of five and since those early days of reading Sukumar Ray (a great Bengali poet and humour writer and the father of the Satyajit Ray) I could never put down the opportunity to get cozy in my bed with a fantastic novel with soft music playing in the background. And now that I am 22 years old I can safely say that I have read more novels, stories, short stories, poems in English or Bengali than most people of my age. And Yes I am proud of that achievement. So one fine day I decided to write up whatever came to my mind after I have just finished a particularly good novel. (The question is how do I know its good beforehand. The answer simply is that I re-read only those novels which I have found quite good the first time.) This was a fairly recent development and since then I have been penning down whatever thoughts came to my mind regarding the novel I just read. Now I have decided to organize all those thoughts and share them in my blog so that I can influence some people to take up this habit of reading (with the advent of movie and tv-series adaptations this habit has gone down the drain in the recent years). So here are those write ups. This particular blog is by no means comprehensive and Its impossible to put down a list of all the novels I have read. So I will be updating this blog whenever I do another re-read of a particular novel (which might not be soon because I have been too busy reading new releases :D)
Note: The bookmarks aren't used as rankings.
  1. The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan & Brandon Sanderson
This is my favourite series of fantasy novels. I remember a time when I picked up the first book of the series and after perusing through the first ten-twenty chapters I couldn’t find enough interest to carry on because of the similarity of the story with The Lord of the Rings. But a couple of years later I decided that enough is enough. What is there in this series that people keep praising it so much. There are whole sets of encyclopaedias dedicated to the world of Randland. So I forced myself to read the first book till the very end. And I am glad I did it because when I finished reading it I was huffing and puffing and waiting to devour the next book and then the next book and then the next. What followed was a grand experience in my life where I completed the then published twelve books and the three prequels in less than a month. I had forgotten classes, academic studies, exams, projects, my afternoon sports, some of my meals and the company of my friends. And the best thing about it was that I do not regret it. The mega experience was so awesome that for the next few weeks whenever I discussed something with my friends (not many of whom are such voracious readers as myself) I kept bringing up the topic of WOT. So finally even my friends got interested and took to the books. The books are such page turners that despite the lack of hardcopy I couldn’t contain myself and took to reading ebooks which until then I had found extremely cumbersome to do. The books are the ones which got me into the habit of reading ebooks.
Now you would think that what is there so awesome in the story that I am rambling on and on about how much it influenced my life. Here it is:
If you think the Illiad or the odyssey as epic forget it. If you consider The Lord of the Rings as epic fantasy, it is nothing compared to the world of the WOT. This series is epic fantasy redefined with a plethora of intriguing characters, a substantial and well-explained magic system and not to forget the archetypal hero and villains: the good and the evil, the light and the dark. On the first glance it would seem to be the same old story of the peasant boy gains power and becomes the wizard of the prophecy who defeats the dark lord. But the story is so much more that one forgets the stereotype in the complexity and the complicacy of the story arcs. The heroes are not the goody ones but rather gritty, sometimes selfish, sometimes insane and vengeful.
Robert Jordan must have been influenced by the LOTR (let’s face it, who is not?) because there are some similarities between certain characters. But he builds a whole new concept and a world where a reader remains engrossed. I should also mention something about the pacing of the story. The books are full of action sequences and I especially like the sword fights which are awesome.
Therefore all in all it’s a must read. Oh! I forgot to mention my favourite character: Nynaeve-al-Maera.
  1. The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan
  2. The Great Hunt by Robert Jordan
  3. The Dragon Reborn by Robert Jordan
  4. The Shadow Rising by Robert Jordan
  5. The Fires of Heaven by Robert Jordan
  6. Lord of Chaos by Robert Jordan
  7. A Crown of Swords by Robert Jordan
  8. The Path of Daggers by Robert Jordan
  9. Winter’s Heart by Robert Jordan
  10. Crossroads of Twilight by Robert Jordan
This book has the slowest pacing of the lot with not much significant events happening here. But despite the ponderous read it was a very necessary book in the series. Still I would have loved if the author put on a few more action sequences in the story. The climax is fitting though.
  1. Knife of Dreams by Robert Jordan
It is my favourite book in the series owing to the fast pacing, tying up of a few loose ends, and lots of action sequences right from prologue to the epilogue. Must mention is the sword fight scene in the prologue between Galad Damodred and Eamon Valda. I was reading the book while lying down. The scene was so engrossing and adrenaline driven that I had to sit up and by the time I finished reading it I was shaking with excitement. It’s a pity Mr. Jordan died and could not finish the work which will make him immortal in the world of the WOT fans. This was the last book written by Robert Jordan and quite fittingly it’s the best of the lot.
  1. The Gathering Storm by Robert Jordan & Brandon Sanderson
  2. Towers of Midnight by Robert Jordan & Brandon Sanderson
    Read this blog of mine for a review:
  3. A Memory of Light by Robert Jordan & Brandon Sanderson

    not yet released
New Spring

  1. The Lord of The Rings by JRR Tolkien

The Fellowship of the Ring

The Two Towers

The Return of the King
  1. Harry Potter by JK Rowling
Need I say something about how good these books are. One of the praises about the LOTR was that the English speaking world is divided into two kinds of people. Those who have read it and those who are going to read it. In today’s world the same praise applies for this multimillion dollar franchise. Some people think that watching the movie is enough. But I would say after the third movie the movies have failed to do justice to the awesome stories thereafter. So if you are conversant with the language English you should read these books.
Comedy, mystery, horror, thrill, detection, magic, action, teenage romance, misunderstanding, sacrifice, death, tragedy – you mention it, it is there in the stories blended in an enthralling unputdownable plot by Rowling.
  1. Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone
  2. Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets
  3. Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban
  4. Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire
  5. Harry Potter and The Order of Phoenix
  6. Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince
  7. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows
It is quite fitting that the final book of the series has the best storyline in the series. Packed with mysteries and action sequences it is quite simply a world in which a reader would happily let himself lose.

  1. Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini
I will be the first one to admit that it is really my fault to expect so much from this series after I read the first book way back when I was in school, because I hadn't watched STAR WARS then. I was so excited with the story of the first book that it immediately became one of the best books I had read till then. However I came to college and then watched STAR WARS. I was so enraged by the shameless copying of some of the plot lines of STAR WARS by the author that I decided to skip the rest of the books of the series.
Later on however I found time to read them. And to tell the truth except for the magic system and the sword fighting there is nothing special to the series. The last book is the worst of the lot with a Deux-ex-machina ending 100 pages before the book ends. There are a lot of deliberate tying of plot threads which is indigestible to the reader. One would do better not to read them. The first book is however good enough for younger readers.
  1. Eragon
  2. Eldest
  3. Brisingr
    IV. Inheritance
  1. Dresden Files by Jim Butcher

  1. Storm Front
  2. Fool Moon
  3. Grave Peril
  4. Summer Knight
  5. Death Masks
  6. Blood Rites
  7. Dead Beat
  8. Proven guilty
  9. White Night
  10. Small Favor
  11. Turn Coat
  12. Changes

  1. The Sword, The Ring and The Chalice by Deborah Chester

  1. The Sword
  2. The Ring
  3. The Chalice

  1. The Riftwar Cycle by Raymond E. Feist

  1. The Riftwar Saga

  1. Magician: Apprentice
  2. Magician: Master
  3. Silverthorn
  4. A Darkness at Sethanon

  1. The Empire Trilogy
  2. Krondor’s Sons

  1. Prince of the Blood
  2. The King’s Buccaneer

  1. Sword Dancer Series by Jennifer Roberson

Ah! The delicious Sword and Sorcery story with my all time favourite female character: Delilah. What can I say about this bitter sweet story which I despise because of its feminism and love it still. A strong plot, mysterious magic and not to mention the awesome sword dancing. Wish I met a woman like Delilah in real life.

  1. Sword Dancer
  2. Sword Singer
  3. Sword Maker
  4. Sword Breaker
  5. Sword Born
  6. Sword Sworn

  1. Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

  1. Artemis Fowl
  2. The Arctic Incident
  3. The Eternity Code
  4. The Opal Deception
  5. The Lost Colony
  6. The Time Paradox

  1. The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud

  1. The Amulet of Samarkhand
  2. The Golem’s Eye
  3. Ptolemy’s Gate

  1. The Belgariad Series by David Eddings

  1. Pawn of Prophecy
  2. Queen of Sorcery
  3. Magician’s Gambit
  4. Castle of Wizardry
  5. Enchanter’s Endgame

  1. The Mistborn Trilogy by Brandon Sanderson

The Trilogy is a good enough story with an innovative magic system and a feel of a different kind of fantasy but it left me disturbed. I am not much for the tragic hero types and I guess that is what left me without a good sleep the night I finished the book. Nevertheless It managed to make a good impression on me. The most amazing aspect of the stories are how every little plot thread ultimately fit in the climax. There was no loose thread left as is often the case with big series of books. (Not that it is bad to leave some things to the reader's imagination). I should say watch out for Brandon Sanderson who seems to be a master in his art. And if he says his upcoming series The Stormlight Archive is going to be epic I would rather believe him.

I don’t know why the story kept reminding me of the Matrix Trilogy of films though they are poles apart.
  1. The Final Empire
  2. The Well of Ascension
  3. The Hero of Ages

  1. The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
  2. Earthsea by Ursula K Leguin

  1. A Wizard of Earthsea
  2. The Tombs of Atuan
  3. The Farthest Shore
  4. Tehanu
  5. The Other Wind

  1. His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman

  1. Northern Lights
  2. The Subtle Knife
  3. The Amber Spyglass

  1. Septimus Heap by Angie Sage

  1. Magyk
  2. Flyte
  3. Physik
  4. Quete
  5. Syren

Science Fiction

  • Dune Series by Frank Herbert
I don’t know why this series is always classified under science fiction. I see more of fantastical elements in the novels. All over the world the series is acclaimed as the best of the science fiction genre, often cited as “Dune is to science fiction as Lord of the Rings is to fantasy”. It’s a pity that such a widely acclaimed book should rank so ordinary in my view. No doubt it is definitely a good story which introduces certain awe-inspiring concepts but still I find it quite ordinary compared to some of the other science fiction novels I have read. Nevertheless one should always read the series if one loves fantasy or science fiction.
  • The Foundation Saga by Isaac Asimov
I have always wanted to ask this question. Which are the best books of Asimov? Having read most of his popular novels that I still can't decide on a particular one, says a lot about how good he is. No doubt Isaac Asimov is considered the master of the genre of science-fiction. Its often said that he is to Science fiction as Tolkien is to Fantasy.
The Foundation Saga is one of the best works of Asimov, and unlike the Dune Series by Frank Herbert, it actually lives up to the hype and more. I sincerely believe it when Asimov said that Carl Sagan and Marvin Minsky are the only two people he met whose intellect surpassed his own. Yes, going by his amazing solutions to the crisis that arises in the Foundation saga, he definitely possessed an unnaturally gifted amount of intelligence. The saga might be science fiction, set ages into the future, but it derives its material right from mankind's history. What is most amazing about the saga is the amazing details in the plot that rock the reader. One is forced to reflect on the similarity of the developments in the novel with human history. It takes an excellent observer of the history to concoct such a plot. Whether one likes science fiction or not, it is definitely a must read- one of those things you must do before you die!

Thriller, Detective and Crime Fiction

  • Sherlock Holmes Novels by Arthur Conan Doyle
  • Hercule Poirot Novels by Agatha Christie

  • The Mysterious Affair at Styles

This is no doubt a wonderful story of detection and logic told in beautiful words. But I have a few complaints regarding the plot- there were a few coincidences incriminating the villains which should not be there in any detective novel. And the explanation by Poirot at the end of the novel is not enough to cover all details. Some of the interesting events have been left out to the reader’s imagination. This being Agatha Christie’s first novel hopefully she matures later into a better story teller where the puzzles fit in at the climax.

  • Tommy and Tuppence Novels by Agatha Christie

  • The Secret Adversary

The novel is definitely a good read just like any other Agatha Christie novel and has its fair share of thrill, mystery and adventure. Though the author seems to rely too much on coincidences to further the plot. And I must mention here that having read too many of detective novels and thrillers I had already known the “adversary” much before the climax. Nevertheless this fact should not deter the author’s fans to accompany her in this glorious ride.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Right ya Wrong??

Who or what decides our moral compass? what makes us think this act is evil and this is good? Or maybe the more important question would be what is the need of morality?

Morality is required simply for survival! yes it may seem a bit non-altruistic but the concept of morality doesn't come from religion or faith on some supernatural being watching over us and judging whether what we do is right or wrong. The concept is simply evolutionary. Being a social animal humans need to be altruistic simply to survive. And hence the idea of morality.

Its often the reasoning of theologists and those who have this blind faith in their religion that without religion morality doesn't exist. Without this concept of hell and heaven people could do whatever they wished without any kind of repercussions. The society would be anarchy, primeval and lawless. Without going into the long standing debate on the belief whether science and religion can cohabit in this 21st century (which according to me is strictly baseless simply because one is based on evidence and can be questioned while the other demands strict belief and faith on some scriptures with no evidence to show for the claims. To me the scriptures should be preserved as great works of art or fantasy- nothing more than the modern Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter. Yes, given enough time Pottermania might even give rise to a new religion where Dumbledore is the god, Potter his soldier and Voldemort the new Satan. All one needs is a group of motivated, dedicated and misled pottermaniac jihadis. If you think I am joking just look at how Constantin the pagan Roman emperor promoted Catholic Christianity)

But why should we-the most logical species of them all need this "faith" to bind us and make sure we do "good" and not "evil". After all a strict implementation of law and execution of justice should be enough to restrain evil men from committing crimes and leading good men on the path of "honesty", "justice" and a dignified life. Didn't a Nobel laureate say " Religion is an insult to humanity. Good men do good things and evil men do evil things. But Religion makes a good man do evil things" (My god is better than yours! My scripture is holier than yours! You should not do that because that is forbidden in the scripture! If you do not follow my God I am going to rape and kill you!)

My point is that any reasoning that "I do not torture, pillage, rape and murder you simply because I fear God will send me to hell in afterlife" is simply stupid. If someone needs to fear someone to control that kind of a violent  and poisonous beast inside him a strict law of the land should be enough to dissuade him or punish him in the event he  commits the crime actually. For others, plain old logic is enough for the very thought to never even take form.

So discard religion. Embrace logic. Encourage questions. And if your argument still is "something that is believed by so many people all over the world and something that science hasn't been able to disprove cannot be wrong or non-existent" then just recall what people all over the world believed regarding the Sun and the Earth before Copernicus and the fact that anything that can't be disproved does not necessarily be existent.

Because someday someone with a very high intelligence and an imposing personality might come and say "There is only one god and that is a flying spaghetti monster. The heaven is where there is a beer fountain and a stripper factory. The hell is the same as heaven except the beer is stale and the strippers have STDs" and ask you to kill all people who do not renounce their faiths in other religions and accept this religion in the name of the Church of the flying spaghetti monster. After all there is no way to disprove his theory is incorrect or flawed.

P.S. What is wrong with religion? Just look at Jerusalem: destroyed twice, besieged 23 times, attacked 52 times, and captured and recaptured 44 times.

Disclaimer: I personally stand somewhere between atheism and agnosticism. And this post I am not going to apologize to someone's hurt sentiments because of his/her religious views because to me the very idea of religion is a non-subject. I can't apologize to every lunatic who thinks magic exists simply because it can't be proven that it doesn't. 

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Tere Bin Laden:Refreshingly original and funtastic

One and half hours of outrageous laugh riot, a smart script and fine acting- Tere Bin Laden has all the ingredients of becoming a cult favourite. Essentially a spoof on Osama Bin Laden and America's war on terror, it goes on to delve deep into the real issues if one thinks seriously- not that the engaging storyline let's you a take a break from the fun-ride that it is. All the central chracters' performances has to be greatly appreciated and applauded especially since none of them are established actors. Ali Zafar the talented singer from Pakistan get a chance to showcase his talents in acting as well and he grabs the opportunity superbly.

The funny side of the awesome movie apart it also questions certain issues in a very subtle but sarcastic way like how billions of dollars of American taxpayers' money is going down the drain chasing ghosts, how the Indian and Pakistani officials bow before their American peers, how paranoid the world has become of even simple things, and most of all how embarrassingly enchanted the people of India and Pakistan are with the American culture and their country.

Finally a word or two on Bollywood. It regularly churns out utter crap. No need to mention the name of any movie here. Just pick any of the big-name starring ones and one can easily fathom the depths to which Indian film industry has plummeted to. (All people who regularly read thevigilidiot can refer to what I am trying to say here) But every now and then a gem comes out and Tere Bin Laden is the Kohinoor of them. If you are still wondering if you ought to see it surely you are the "ullu da pattha"

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Inception: What an idea Sirjee

I have never been a fan of Christopher Nolan. No, I didn't like Memento. I didn't like The Dark Knight. I rate his Batman begins higher than The Dark Knight. And to me Memento is a very simply story only told backwards. Just try watching it in the order it actually happens, I am sure you will lose the charm that it held over you. In fact My favourite Nolan movie was The Prestige. Despite the profound flaws in the story and concepts I liked it better than Memento and the Batman Series.

However everything changed when I started to watch Inception. Mind it that after the hype around The Dark Knight the disappointment after watching it was simply too overwhelming for me. So I decided not to watch Inception until the DVD version of the movie was available in LAN. After The Dark Knight I had developed this pre-conceived notion that all this public hype around Inception is simply farce and I will be as disappointed as I was with The Dark Knight.

After watching the movie, not only my silly notions were dismissed but I was thoroughly shaken up with the concept- the vastness of it, the huge scope of the idea. Now I can state without any doubt that After The Matrix, Inception is the next movie to do that to me (Its very difficult to amaze someone who has read most of the popular and obscure fantasy and science fiction available with a concept) Now I believe that like Matrix was the epitome of achievement of the Wachowsky Brothers, similarly Inception is for Nolan. They are unlikely to be bettered by their creators.

Just like matrix the idea isn't foolproof. There are some obvious flaws or unexplained concept within the idea like why was Saito sharing the same dream as Cobb in the ultimate level of dreams or why doesn't the subconscious register the obvious imperfection in the totem and isn't able to incorporate that in a dream. In fact people have been saying a lot about the ambiguous ending of the movie. I didn't find any ambiguity. Even though the totem continued to spin, it was obviously the reality simply because in dreams you don't deal with characters of your subconscious- there were so many of them (Ariadne, Arthur, Saito, Eames, yusuf, Fischer, Miles, etc etc) and if they weren't the subconscious' projections they must have been real people sharing the dream. But then what was the point of so many people sharing the dream. Besides there wasn't any loop in that level. Hence it had to be the reality. And that Michael Caine has clarified that it was in fact the reality.

Despite the imperfections, unanswered questions and unexplained logic one has got to appreciate the vastness of the idea. To borrow the slogan of a popular cellular service agency of India, What an idea Sirjee

Yes I bow to the person who conceived the idea. The movie is a must watch. If you haven't watched it yet rush off to get hold of a DVD. You won't regret the long after hours contemplating the concept of the movie. Trust me on this.

P.S.: I couldn't help but notice one scene in the movie where the subconscious of Fischer becomes suspicious and Arthur asks Ariadne to kiss him to ease their suspicion. This is because Fischer, an American born and bred was so at ease with public display of affection. But I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if the target was an Indian (or even someone from southern Asia or middle east). Such a public display of affection would surely have caused more harm because the damn culture simply doesn't allow it. I can't help but pity the Indian culture and the society.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Towers of Midnight: A Review

Now that the thirteenth novel of The Wheel of Time Series has been released the countdown to the final novel A Memory of Light begins. According to Brandon Sanderson's latest update on the series, the probable date for the release of the novel is around March 2012, which just goes on to show how good an author he is to be able to write something like the "final novel of the WOT series" in such a short time, whereas people like Martin are still struggling with their fourth novel.

Now coming to the topic at hand: how good is Towers of Midnight the thirteenth novel of the series. As one would expect in a penultimate novel of the series, many of the still hanging plot points were to be tied up, and Sanderson did actually accomplish that particular daunting task (daunting because some 2-3 novels back we were still wondering how could so many plot points could possibly ever be tied up?) So Kudos to the successor of Robert Jordan. Traditionally every WOT book centers around one of the heroes of the saga. Keeping up with the tradition, TOM also centers around a key character and its Perrin Aybara unexpectedly (unexpected because you would wonder why Matrim Cauthon isn't the central character given the exciting set of adventures he was expected to have in the book) Well Mat has got his fair share of attention and Sanderson doesn't disappoint with the adventures of Mat as promised. But its Perrin who finally comes of age in the book after days (read books) of whining, and complaining. I was glad to see this ever uninteresting plot of the Faile-Perrin-Berelain triangle has finally been sorted out in the book. In the last couple of books by Jordan we were exasperated by the ever expanding key plot point of Perrin which I still say is the weakest central character. But in this book Sanderson treats him fairly and pleasingly the chapters on Perrin didn't drone on and on for a change. Egwene gets her fair share of adventures as well as does Elayne and strangely even Aviendha (Sanderson totally eliminated the characters of Elayne and Aviendha in the previous book) But as we all have come to expect of Sanderson he ever always deals with strong female characters. Rand doesn't have a strong presence in the book but then he has already done much and I guess he will be the central character in the final book. Though some people would say the strange sense of calmness that has come onto the character of Rand is pleasant I find it very disconcerting. 

Now coming to onto the key plot points that has been resolved in this book. While the three main plot points associated with Mat, namely Gholam, the Tower of Ghenjei and Verin's letter were resolved in an amazing and previously unforeseeable way, the rest of the plot points that were resolved were strangely underwhelming. I guess with Jordan we all have come to expect the unexpected but some of his original plots were really straight forward and linear. So we can't really blame Sanderson on failing here. Though I would hate to state that Sanderson failed in giving due value to the Asmodean question which was probably the most discussed unresolved plot point for half a dozen books. He could have associated a story with it while resolving the plot point. But instead he chose to reveal Asmodean'd killer with a hint and finally in the glossary. 

So overall Towers of Midnight is a good read as expected, far better than some of the Jordan "drone on"s like Crossroads of Twilight. But the fast paced action of The Gathering Storm is missing. I guess we all would have liked to see a bit more of the forsaken especially Moridin and that abomination of Shaidar Haran. But that wasn't to be, which is just as well because then the last book is the one supposed to be the best book in the series. 

So go ahead Mr. Sanderson. Our best wishes and hopes are with you as Tarmon Gaidon approaches.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

History Part 1:The Original Philosphies

Everybody is asking me why the link of the blog is "sudiptophilosophy", when all I seem to write about is general ramblings, the occasional humor drama, some cricket issues and mostly copied and collected materials from all over the net. So here is the story how the blog came into being. Initially I wanted some place to scream my lungs out. Thus I developed a site at google sites. Some of my close peers might have come across it. Then I never thought that someday I would need to write blogs. Hence the site. But as times change my attitude which is the most changeable thing you would ever come across has also changed (though I don't know for better or worse). And I started writing this blog. Then came those infamous facebook notes in which I tagged my friends. Amazed at the sudden popularity of the notes I put them in my blog as well. Now I thought, why not put the original philosophies in the blog as well, which are the reasons I took to "rambling and musing" on the net (first at that site I developed, then in orkut and finally in facebook). So here they go:




Its easier for any process to follow that route which has the highest rate of entropy generation or irreversibilty.

    That is why destruction is so more convenient than construction.


Some irrefutable logic: You won't get a decent single girl. So what do you do? you chat up with a "committed" girl, become "friends", feed her bullshit about her boyfriend indirectly-she would sooner or later break up because that is what pre-job couples are meant to do & then you pick her up & enjoy the fruits of the previous boyfriend's labour. (Note: By bullshit I mean its the same thing that you would do as her new boyfriend. It is the kind of old shit packed in a new wrapper.)


Reasons you should not fall in love: 
1. you start to love someone more than yourself
2. you become so stupid as to actually follow (1). your IQ decreases by 30 points
3. even disgusting things like rains seem romantic 
4. you get your life screwed up & only realize it after you have broken up live in a trance like state & don't hear your best friends wailing behind you.maybe thats why its called "falling" in love & not climbing. 

so next time you are enthralled by some damsel slap yourself so hard that you see stars.


Vivas are never meant to be fair and square. Whoever designed them was sure ignorant of the basic principles of human psychology. Since hardly any human can be lacking in that field I am guessing it was designed by some "TERMINATOR- KILLING MACHINES SENT BACK FROM THE FUTURE FOR ONLY ONE PURPOSE-TO ELIMINATE.........." This is simply because in any viva the standard of questions asked follows a GAUSSIAN DISTRIBUTION. Those lucky enough to give their vivas right at the start escape with the simplest of the questions and then as people are gradually found to be able to answer them, the standard of questions goes up & up until it reaches a peak beyond which the frustration & boredom level (FBL) of the professor crosses his threshold limit. Then again the general standard of questions asked begins to fall. This was about the standard of the questions. Now analyzing the variation of number of questions asked to a particular student with time, its found to be decreasing asymptotically whose asymptote is 1(question). So while every viva begins with a flurry of easy enough questions it inevitably ends in an okie dokie type single question. Now this is the general trend. Aberrations do occur on the event an oversmart type comes up with some rubbish idea about impressing the professor. Then of course he will end up finding a huge bamboo stuck up his ass.


Everybody is as confused as you or me. Its simply that they are all confused in different fields of life--someone is confused about their career, someone about their love, someone about their ability, etc etc. So what do you do? Get all the more confused in all the other fields of your life where you were so sure. That way you would not have the time nor the patience to keep thinking about what you are going to do next. So when you screw up the next time all you do is get confused again & start all over. its something like when a teacher once asked my friend "what is a control panel?", the guy replied smartly " Sir, the control panel is the panel that controls the panel of the computer."


Those who call you hot rather than beautiful/pretty etc are far more suitable for you. At least they are not lying & if you enjoy the compliment he might be the right guy for you. He won't give a damn if you had your makeup on or not. & of course he would not care what the world says about you & him being together. But the ones who believe in candle light dinner, sits with you & watches you for long hours, stares at the starry sky while lying on your lap thinking about the "happily lived ever after" future--these people you should avoid. They won't earn a penny, won't let you chase your dreams because you would be too "soft" to do such things & would rate ordinary living & crap thinking higher than sophisticated living & entertainment.


Examinations: The phenomenon dreaded by many,  enjoyed by rest. These can be the best time of your session if you choose it to be. The big question is how? Now this is something the "faint heart"ed can't do. You have to be bold enough to let go of any fear or pressure of even passing the exams. Movies, games, TV series, anime -- you name it-- all are most enjoyable during these hours which general people waste by  studying frenetically. Even movies like "shoot 'em ' up", "Gunda" become watchable. Its entertainment at its best- only if you do this during the examinations. In fact the more the pressure the more you enjoy. Therefore I believe examinations should be clubbed together one after the other with no gap (ironically they call it study gap) whatsoever. The only problem is then the fun would last for a few days only.

P.S.:the pleasure was never meant to last more than a few moments!!!!


This one is for mere mortals like you all. Sometimes you wonder how to achieve that state of contentment that only saints can achieve without really achieving anything. I will tell you how. First get yourself in a "serious" but asexual(which is obvious) relationship with a girl. And if even this seems beyond you just get a friendly girl. Chat her up, go watch movies with her, do all sorts of crap like sharing the Rs. 125 popcorn pack while watching a Rs 260 ticket Harry Potter movie, treat her in a fancy restaurant where you tip the worthless waiter generously, sit in a park lawn idly for hours feeding the pigeons, chat on the phone for 6-7 hours at a stretch, listen to soft music while sharing the earphones of your ipod, etc etc. In the meantime you will of course forget about why you were actually attracted to her at the first place or how much further ahead you actually wanted to go with her in the relationship. You will find that after spending a considerable amount of your material resources, time and emotion you have reached that above mentioned state of contentment and serenity as if you have just scaled Mt. Everest and the news has been published in the front page of every well known daily. But actually you would have achieved nothing, not even a kiss.


The best feeling of student life: When someone else who studies from your notes gets the highest grades. Also when someone who copies from you during the examinations and gets better grades than you. You will really relish the sensation of the hero that comes out of the pages of mythology who sacrifices his will, life and love so that the world is not destroyed. 


IITians are unique just like everyone else.


People often wonder what would make their girlfriend tick or rather how could one repay her back with all the tantrums, tensions and turmoil she has caused in his otherwise peaceful life. This is a general piece of advice for those suckers. Just let go of her. Go on doing your crappy boyfriend thing but don't let her feel you are being possessive about her. Let her do whatever she wishes even if whatever she does tingles your pea sized brains. You will soon find out that she is trying all sorts of ways- deceit, lies and certain puerile activities to lure you back in the game of  possessiveness, because every girl want to remain the centre of one's attention. So if she is unable to remain so, she gets confused and tensed and as a result you get your sweet revenge. Therefore be that laid back boyfriend and enjoy the show- see your girlfriend squirm and twitch in discomfort which you have been doing since you got into that wretched relationship.


The "good" boys often wonder what is wrong with them, why aren't they getting a girlfriend, or if they are lucky enough to get their besotted, why aren't they getting sex? (which is of course the only good part in a relationship). I will tell you what is going on in here. Its just that there is nothing wrong with these "innocent" guys. The inherent "girl" nature is such that they believe in the fact that "All that glitters is gold", so they are always, inevitably and irrevocably turned on by flashes and bangs. So all the best girls end up with the worst guys(Trust me, the kind of things these guys do to show off will simply blow your mind off in disgust- the guitar, the bike, the sunglasses, the spikes, the piercings, etc etc) and the best guys are left out.  

From a girl's point of view, what I just said is partially true. Yes they like to hang out with these flashy gits, have affairs and do all sorts of  "COOL" stuff but they would eventually like to settle down with a goodie goodie type hubby, most of whom are again a stereotype  I will describe sometime  later. 

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Rajnikanth stories volume II

  1. Rajanikanth is being chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but he has no bullets in it. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... And the gangster dies....This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back to his grave. But he happened to see a movie for one last timeand thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops not so fast. The Climax finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that even Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because its the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible)..Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall,he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead. Newton commits Suicide.
  2. Rajnikanth was bragging to Amitabh Bachan one day, "You know, I know everyone. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. Tired of his boasting, Amitabh Bachan called his bluff, "OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise?"   
    "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it" Rajini said.

    So Rajini and Amitabh Bachan fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door,

    And sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts : "Thalaiva! Great to see you! You And your friends come right in and join me for lunch!"

    ...Although impressed, Amitabh Bachan is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Rajini that he thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was Just lucky.

    "No, no, just name anyone else" Rajini says

    ..."President Obama", Amitabh Bachan quickly retorts

    ..."Yes", Rajini says, "I know him.

    And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Rajini on the tour and motions him, saying, : "Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up".

    Well, Amitabh Bachan is much shaken by now, but still not totally onvinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he implores him to name anyone else.

    "The Pope," Amitabh Bachan replies

    ..."Sure!" says Rajini, "My folks are from Italy and I've known the Pope a long time".

    Rajini and Amitabh Bachan are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rajini says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

    And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.. Sure enough, half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

    But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Amitabh Bachan has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

    Working his way to Amitabh Bachan's side, Rajini asks him, "What happened?"

    Amitabh Bachan looks up and says, "I was doing fine until u and the pope came out on the balcony and the Italian man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Rajini?"

More Rajnikanth one liners here:

Disclaimer: stories have been collected from all kinds of sources over the internet some of which are mentioned in the previous post

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Rajnikanth and Rajnikanth get the idea

This is a collection of Rajnikanth jokes doing the rounds in the net these days. This is by no means original, comprehensive or complete. I guess most of the jokes have been recycled from the Chuck Norris jokes.

I will keep on updating this post as soon as I come across a new Rajni joke.

So here it goes:
  1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
  2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. ...He is pushing the earth down.
  3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajini...kanth allowed to live.
  4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
  5. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
  6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.
  7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
  8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
  9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
  10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
  11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants aretoday called giraffes.
  12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.
  13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
  14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
  15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman....... out of rain.
  16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
  18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
  19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
  20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
  21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
  22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
  23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
  24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
  25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
  26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
  27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.
  28. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
  29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
  30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
  31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
  32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.
  33. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
  34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.
  35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
  36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
  37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
  38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
  39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
  40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
  41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa.
  42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
  43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
  44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
  45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.
  46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
  47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
  48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
  49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.
  50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
  51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
  52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.
  53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
  54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
  55. Rajinikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd,no one fools Rajanikanth.
  56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
  57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
  58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
  59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.
  61. Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
  62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
  64. Rajinikant doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
  65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
  66. When you say "no one is perfect", Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.
  67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
  69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
  70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
  71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
  72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
  73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
  74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
  75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
  76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon.
  77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
  78. Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
  79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.
  80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.
  81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
  82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.
  83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth,there is no other way.
  84. Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
  85. Rajinikant doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
  86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rajinikant".
  87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
  88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
  90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
  91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
  92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
  93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get awayfrom Rajinikanth.
  94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.
  95. Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
  96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
  97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world.
  98. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
  99. You dont google rajnikanth...u rajnikanth google.
  100. Rajnikanth's email is
  101. The world will not end in 2012, Rajnikanth has bought a computer with a 3 year warranty.
  102. Even Ghajni remembers Rajni !!!
  103. The day ROBOT was released, Rajnikanth gave Times of India a rating of 4 stars.
  104. Micheal Jordan to Rajni - I can spin a basketball on my fingers for 2 hrs. Can u? Rajnikanth - Yenna Rascalla, How do u think earth spins?
  105. Rajnikant.. once wrote his Autobiography - The book is today known as The Guiness Book of World Records!
  106. While playing once Rajnikanth said "statue" to a its know as "Statue of Liberty
  107. Rajnikanth to buy Facebook, he will be making one change in it, instead of 'like' he will put 'sooper'
  108. Rajnikanth once rolled a dice and scored a 7.
  109. Rajnikanth runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
  110. Rajnikant got into a fight with Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pant for the rest of his life.
  111. Once Dinosaurs borrowed money from Rajnikanth and refused to pay him back.. That was the last time. After that no one saw Dinosaurs.
  112. Rajni gives permission to Sachin to score those hundreds..
  113. Alfred Noble won RAJNIKANTH award !
  114. Rajnikanth knows who the mother is in How I met Your Mother.
  115. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on.... he turns the dark off.
  116. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
  117. Rajnikant’s codes are never reviewed, if he makes an error, that’s an invention.
  118. Rajnikanth can write into A READ ONLY FILE.
  119. Rajnikanth does’t have a Twitter account, Because no one can follow him and he’s already following you.
  120. Bullets dodge Rajnikanth.
  121. If you spell Rajnikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajnikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
  122. Rajnikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  123. The square root of Rajnikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajnikanth, the result is death.
  124. Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way.
  125. Once Rajnikanth sat for JEE. Even he could not clear it
  126. Rajnikanth laughs at you and your silly jokes about him even before you think them up. So don't bother..
  127. One night, while asleep, Rajnikanth was mumbling some random numbrs... Thats how the Log table was invented.
  128. Some actor set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets deskmarks.
  129. Practice makes a man more like Rajnikant.
  130. Once a girl lost her virginity...... Rajnikanth got it back!
  131. Rajnikant once entered a hundred metre race. No surprises, he came first. But Einstein died. Because light came second.
  132. Rajni once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced.
  133. Once a 22 wheeler TATA truck crashed with Rajnikanth... Now, its Called Tata Nano!
  134. Titanic crashed because it went in the wrong direction and hit Rajnikanth in his bathtub!
  135. Once when Rajni sneezed in sleep, he caused the Big Bang.
  136. Rajnikant has found a way to commit suicide.
  137. One day Spiderman, Superman, Batman, Krissh, Ironman all went to Rajnikanth! WHY?? It was Teacher's Day.
  138. What is Rajnikanth's fart called? Its called Rajnigandha.
  139. In the year 2008, Rajnikanth lost his wallet... and the world went into recession.
  140. Rajnikanth had died 20 years ago, but death hasn't been able to build up the courage to tell him yet.
  141. Rajnikanth can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
  142. Rajnikanth doesn't pay attention - attention pays him.
  143. Rajnikanth stared at the sun for hours... the sun then finally blinked.
  144. Rajnikanth once entered a race... he came first, second and third.
  145. The missing piece of Apple logo was officially eaten by Rajnikanth.
  146. Once Rajnikanth went to Kashmir during his childhood and started playing with the snow and made some small mounds of them... These are now what we call the 'Himalayas'.
  147. For all C and C++ programmers, whenever a program doesn't work, just add this line to the top and see the difference: #include
  148. Rajnikant planted the idea of making a movie called 'Inception' into Christopher Nolan's mind by getting into his dream.
  149. Rajnikanth once designed a few papyrus-weights, we see them around Egypt now!!
  150. Once Rajnikant took support from a pillar. Now it is called the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
  151. The Mariana Trench is NOT a geological fault. Rajni was walking across the Pacific Ocean when his foot slipped in some slime.
  152. why did rajnikant buy an acre of land with 4 wells in each corner?to play carom!!
  153. BREAKING NEWS...!!NASA doesnt exist any more...Rajnikanth purchased all the rockets for DIWALI celebrations..!!
  154. Rajnikanth's dog's kennel has a sign outside saying - dog is ok. Beware of the owner.
  155. Facebook founder Mr. Mark Zukerberg is hospitalized....because Rajnikanth has "poked" him on facebook....!!!
  156. How did Paul the oracle octopus die...He was asked to predict the death of Rajnikanth..!
  157. once rajnikant tickled a kid. .. now that kid is known as Navjot singh sidhu.
  158. Why does rajnikant wear sunglasses? To protect the sun
  159. The last time Rajinikanth celebrated Diwali.. shooting stars filled the sky.. meteors fell on earth and dinosaurs became extinct.. He has stopped celebrating since.
  160. Rajnikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the title wouldnt make any sense
  161. Rajnikanth knows which came first, The Chicken or The Egg..
  162. Rajnikanth tried to commit suicide, but failed… even Rajnikanth cannot kill Rajnikanth
  163. There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajnikanth.
  164. Rajnikanth did his nursery from seven different they are known as the IITs.  
  165. once a guy tried to flirt with rajnikanth's daughter....Now that guy is Bobby DARLING

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and thousands others on the net

Please point out if there are any repetitions for only Rajnikanth can keep track of all the jokes told and to be told.