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Thursday, November 11, 2010

History Part 1:The Original Philosphies

Everybody is asking me why the link of the blog is "sudiptophilosophy", when all I seem to write about is general ramblings, the occasional humor drama, some cricket issues and mostly copied and collected materials from all over the net. So here is the story how the blog came into being. Initially I wanted some place to scream my lungs out. Thus I developed a site at google sites. Some of my close peers might have come across it. Then I never thought that someday I would need to write blogs. Hence the site. But as times change my attitude which is the most changeable thing you would ever come across has also changed (though I don't know for better or worse). And I started writing this blog. Then came those infamous facebook notes in which I tagged my friends. Amazed at the sudden popularity of the notes I put them in my blog as well. Now I thought, why not put the original philosophies in the blog as well, which are the reasons I took to "rambling and musing" on the net (first at that site I developed, then in orkut and finally in facebook). So here they go:

PHILOSOPHY 1:

THE FOURTH LAW OF THEMODYNAMICS:

SUDIPTO'S STATEMENT:

Its easier for any process to follow that route which has the highest rate of entropy generation or irreversibilty.

    That is why destruction is so more convenient than construction.

PHILOSOPHY 2:

Some irrefutable logic: You won't get a decent single girl. So what do you do? you chat up with a "committed" girl, become "friends", feed her bullshit about her boyfriend indirectly-she would sooner or later break up because that is what pre-job couples are meant to do & then you pick her up & enjoy the fruits of the previous boyfriend's labour. (Note: By bullshit I mean its the same thing that you would do as her new boyfriend. It is the kind of old shit packed in a new wrapper.)

PHILOSOPHY 3:

Reasons you should not fall in love: 
1. you start to love someone more than yourself
2. you become so stupid as to actually follow (1). your IQ decreases by 30 points
3. even disgusting things like rains seem romantic 
4. you get your life screwed up & only realize it after you have broken up
5.you live in a trance like state & don't hear your best friends wailing behind you.maybe thats why its called "falling" in love & not climbing. 

so next time you are enthralled by some damsel slap yourself so hard that you see stars.

PHILOSOPHY 4:

Vivas are never meant to be fair and square. Whoever designed them was sure ignorant of the basic principles of human psychology. Since hardly any human can be lacking in that field I am guessing it was designed by some "TERMINATOR- KILLING MACHINES SENT BACK FROM THE FUTURE FOR ONLY ONE PURPOSE-TO ELIMINATE.........." This is simply because in any viva the standard of questions asked follows a GAUSSIAN DISTRIBUTION. Those lucky enough to give their vivas right at the start escape with the simplest of the questions and then as people are gradually found to be able to answer them, the standard of questions goes up & up until it reaches a peak beyond which the frustration & boredom level (FBL) of the professor crosses his threshold limit. Then again the general standard of questions asked begins to fall. This was about the standard of the questions. Now analyzing the variation of number of questions asked to a particular student with time, its found to be decreasing asymptotically whose asymptote is 1(question). So while every viva begins with a flurry of easy enough questions it inevitably ends in an okie dokie type single question. Now this is the general trend. Aberrations do occur on the event an oversmart type comes up with some rubbish idea about impressing the professor. Then of course he will end up finding a huge bamboo stuck up his ass.

PHILOSOPHY 5:

Everybody is as confused as you or me. Its simply that they are all confused in different fields of life--someone is confused about their career, someone about their love, someone about their ability, etc etc. So what do you do? Get all the more confused in all the other fields of your life where you were so sure. That way you would not have the time nor the patience to keep thinking about what you are going to do next. So when you screw up the next time all you do is get confused again & start all over. its something like when a teacher once asked my friend "what is a control panel?", the guy replied smartly " Sir, the control panel is the panel that controls the panel of the computer."

PHILOSOPHY 6: (FOR GIRLS)

Those who call you hot rather than beautiful/pretty etc are far more suitable for you. At least they are not lying & if you enjoy the compliment he might be the right guy for you. He won't give a damn if you had your makeup on or not. & of course he would not care what the world says about you & him being together. But the ones who believe in candle light dinner, sits with you & watches you for long hours, stares at the starry sky while lying on your lap thinking about the "happily lived ever after" future--these people you should avoid. They won't earn a penny, won't let you chase your dreams because you would be too "soft" to do such things & would rate ordinary living & crap thinking higher than sophisticated living & entertainment.

PHILOSOPHY 7:

Examinations: The phenomenon dreaded by many,  enjoyed by rest. These can be the best time of your session if you choose it to be. The big question is how? Now this is something the "faint heart"ed can't do. You have to be bold enough to let go of any fear or pressure of even passing the exams. Movies, games, TV series, anime -- you name it-- all are most enjoyable during these hours which general people waste by  studying frenetically. Even movies like "shoot 'em ' up", "Gunda" become watchable. Its entertainment at its best- only if you do this during the examinations. In fact the more the pressure the more you enjoy. Therefore I believe examinations should be clubbed together one after the other with no gap (ironically they call it study gap) whatsoever. The only problem is then the fun would last for a few days only.

P.S.:the pleasure was never meant to last more than a few moments!!!!


PHILOSOPHY 8:

This one is for mere mortals like you all. Sometimes you wonder how to achieve that state of contentment that only saints can achieve without really achieving anything. I will tell you how. First get yourself in a "serious" but asexual(which is obvious) relationship with a girl. And if even this seems beyond you just get a friendly girl. Chat her up, go watch movies with her, do all sorts of crap like sharing the Rs. 125 popcorn pack while watching a Rs 260 ticket Harry Potter movie, treat her in a fancy restaurant where you tip the worthless waiter generously, sit in a park lawn idly for hours feeding the pigeons, chat on the phone for 6-7 hours at a stretch, listen to soft music while sharing the earphones of your ipod, etc etc. In the meantime you will of course forget about why you were actually attracted to her at the first place or how much further ahead you actually wanted to go with her in the relationship. You will find that after spending a considerable amount of your material resources, time and emotion you have reached that above mentioned state of contentment and serenity as if you have just scaled Mt. Everest and the news has been published in the front page of every well known daily. But actually you would have achieved nothing, not even a kiss.


PHILOSOPHY 9:

The best feeling of student life: When someone else who studies from your notes gets the highest grades. Also when someone who copies from you during the examinations and gets better grades than you. You will really relish the sensation of the hero that comes out of the pages of mythology who sacrifices his will, life and love so that the world is not destroyed. 

PHILOSOPHY 10:

IITians are unique just like everyone else.

PHILOSOPHY 11:

People often wonder what would make their girlfriend tick or rather how could one repay her back with all the tantrums, tensions and turmoil she has caused in his otherwise peaceful life. This is a general piece of advice for those suckers. Just let go of her. Go on doing your crappy boyfriend thing but don't let her feel you are being possessive about her. Let her do whatever she wishes even if whatever she does tingles your pea sized brains. You will soon find out that she is trying all sorts of ways- deceit, lies and certain puerile activities to lure you back in the game of  possessiveness, because every girl want to remain the centre of one's attention. So if she is unable to remain so, she gets confused and tensed and as a result you get your sweet revenge. Therefore be that laid back boyfriend and enjoy the show- see your girlfriend squirm and twitch in discomfort which you have been doing since you got into that wretched relationship.

PHILOSOPHY 12:

The "good" boys often wonder what is wrong with them, why aren't they getting a girlfriend, or if they are lucky enough to get their besotted, why aren't they getting sex? (which is of course the only good part in a relationship). I will tell you what is going on in here. Its just that there is nothing wrong with these "innocent" guys. The inherent "girl" nature is such that they believe in the fact that "All that glitters is gold", so they are always, inevitably and irrevocably turned on by flashes and bangs. So all the best girls end up with the worst guys(Trust me, the kind of things these guys do to show off will simply blow your mind off in disgust- the guitar, the bike, the sunglasses, the spikes, the piercings, etc etc) and the best guys are left out.  

From a girl's point of view, what I just said is partially true. Yes they like to hang out with these flashy gits, have affairs and do all sorts of  "COOL" stuff but they would eventually like to settle down with a goodie goodie type hubby, most of whom are again a stereotype  I will describe sometime  later. 



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