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Monday, October 11, 2010

All and anything about Dadu

All and anything about Dadu (Its obviously all that i know about....even that's like "pebbles in the shores of an ocean of Dadu information"
- a quote later modified by Newton on his way to fame)

1. He never lights a match.because the last time he did something like that the Big Bang happened.

2. There is nothing called "time before Dadu". Time started when he started it.(The physicists would do well to incorporate this fact into the laws..might solve a lot of existing universe mysteries. But then why bother? just ask Dadu)

3. Dadu never got a university degree. He has been dropping out of every major university since times immemorial.Some of those universities like Nalanda, Vikramshila and takshashila have ceased to exist, hence proving the foresight and wisdom of his decision. Some others like Cambridge actually came into existence because tired of the previous institute he left it for good and started a new one(in case of Cambridge, Oxford)

4. some of his immortal quotes include "aaj kal aar temon thanda kothay pore" (implying the fact that the last time the earth's temperature actually dropped by a significant amount was during the last Ice Age)

5. Eons ago his past time was creating and building civilizations and then destroying them in fierce and violent wars and battles involving complex strategies. Now Dadu has settled down into a comfortable rhythm thanks to Microsoft's Age of Empires where he does the same albeit in a virtual world.

6. Some people believe that the conspiracy theory regarding NASA's moon landing in 1969 because of certain discrepancies in the video recording and photo shooting actually arose because the moon landing coincided with Dadu's vacation on the moon(apparently his farts blew the flag and similarly other phenomena which can be explained through his presence on the moon around the time)

7. Some of us believe the theory of evolution of life needs to be revised in lieu of the facts that new species evolves when tired of procreating with the same species over and over again Dadu decides to engage in bestiality.So in other words we are all descendants of him.(For example the common house lizards came into being when he decided to bed a dinosaur. The other dinosaurs frowned upon such abuse. Dadu decided enough was enough. He could not afford dissension amongst his own people. And hence all that drama with the impacting asteroid (Dadu simply took a dump) and all that resulting in the extinction of dinosaurs)

8. It is believed amongst his followers Dadu actually brought about renaissance in the dark ages of Europe by deciding to cross-dress in the then ultra-conservative society. Da Vinci actually painted a cross-dressed Dadu in the form of the famous painting Monalisa.

9. It is said that when the artisans were designing the mighty Sphinx they got into an argument with Dadu, when irritated by the insolence of the common humans Dadu said "Tor Ma". The artisans then got angered and threw whatever the found at hand towards Dadu. Dadu used the sphinx as a shield from the missiles. one of those missiles broke the Sphinx's nose.

10. Disgusted by the recent media bout on titillating mms, sex tapes and celebrity affairs one day Dadu exclaimed "these things are nothing. I have watched Cleopatra make out, Prithwiraj eloping with Samjukta, Lady Godiva riding nude in broad daylight". (He conveniently forgot to say how he was involved in some of the clandestine love affairs as well like how Pandu and Dhritarashtra were his bastard children during the ages of Mahabharata(He was called Vyasdev then), Dara Shikoh was his bastard child with Mumtaz Mahal (Aurangzeb knew that and decided to blackmail Dara Shikoh and hence his defeat at the hands of Aurangzeb during the struggle for succession), etc.)

11. Often people are amazed when they ask the age of Dadu, for he says its 23. What people don't realize is that it is in the logarithm scale with base 10. The actual age of Dadu to the last decimal digit is yet to be determined. The closest one got was Avogrado, and hence the Avogrado number (6.023 x 10^23) came into being!

There are lots of other interesting historical events. You are welcome to contribute.

Disclaimer: No offense was intended towards anyone living or dead. Its just my pathetic attempt at humour

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